Match

TOUGH SLEDDING FOR CELTIC AS WALKER DOUBLE BARREL RESCUES ARCTIC EXPEDITION

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Vs: Cardiff Academicals

Match Type: League (H)

Date: 11-02-2018 13:00


TEAM NEWS....  Last week's goal hero Stevie V was a late withdrawal so 'player-manager' Wall E Jones brought himself back into the squad to add more of an aerial threat.

PITCH NEWS .... A change of venue was called for after Celtic Park made an overnight appearance on the shipping forecast. Fortunately a quick vault over the stadium fence was all it took for Match of the Day cameraman Robbo to get in position.

1st Half .... Celtic had first dibs on the buran*,  negated slightly by a low sun giving defenders problems against the long ball. Within 5 mins Cardiff were almost in front, Tred just managing to divert a goalbound shot onto the crossbar before being scrambled clear. The merciless conditions took an an early toll with the home team losing 3 players to various aches and strains in the first 20 mins. Luckily a deep bench was once again clearly in evidence. Celtic finally found some rhythm despite the industrious midfield probings of Accies No.8 'Not Nicky' Butt, although it took a set-piece to break the deadlock. A few quick corners eventually proved decisive, Wally's near post flick dropping kindly for Walker to ignore the 'No Blammers' rule with a 6 yard swivel n smash.

"BLAMMM!!!!"

HT 1-0

*a bitterly cold Siberian wind, often accompanied by snow and ice apparently cool

 2nd Half .... With the blizzard now reaching its peak it looked like being a long uphill struggle for the home side. Cardiff began eagerly, looking to take full advantage but arguably pressing a bit too high up the pitch. This tactic immediately backfired, the Accies defenders stranded upfield as Walker sauntered down the left before dinking  a perfectly judged chip into the far corner. A big body blow for the away side who never recovered momentum and rarely threatened after. Celtic really should have put some icing on the cake after that, poor decision making and erratic finishing the only dampener on an otherwise excellent 40 mins. 

Game over!

FT 2-0

WHAT WE LEARNED .... middle-aged men tend to lose their balletic grace when the temperature gauge hits zero!

Those overlapping runs aren't as easy as they used to be are they!

 

"Pass to me Raz, I believe there's a possibility I may be unmarked!"

 

TACTICAL GENIUS AWARD ..... goes to Raz for his cunning deployment of Mike 'Whack-a-Mole' Pinch.

"I've been asked to play wide!"

 

THE HEAT MAP .... was mainly blue so we switched it off.

TC's TOUCH MAP .... didn't seem to be working so we switched that off as well.

"Ooh... that's torn it!"

 

OPTA STAT OF THE DAY ... Dele Alli Chris Herrin --     Dives Attempted = 2      Dives Completed = 2

"No, I take it back, there was definite contact"

 

TALK US THROUGH YOUR GOAL 0.99 (xG), WALLY .... "Well Gary, the free kick came in, far post, unmarked, 3 yards out, I couldn't really miss could I."

"And that's 3-0 ...unless I'm very much mistaken."

"I am very much mistaken!"

 

THIS WEEK'S DUMMIES .... were mainly wearing Spurs tops.

AND FINALLY .... What do Tred and an incontinent geriatric  have in common?                                                    They both keep a clean sheet once a year. tongue-out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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